What I Deserve

I posted this image months ago and recently discussed it with a friend.


My interpretation of the image was that you need to love me most when I’m not ‘lovable’ in the traditional sense (so, when I’m moody & irritable, sad, insecure, grumpy, whatever.)

But my friend did not like the term ‘deserve.’ I can’t recall the details, but I believe he objected to the implication that someone doesn’t ‘deserve’ to be loved when they’re feeling down (angry, whatever.) I thought that was an excellent point. We are all deserving of love, so long as we’re ready to give it back.

Honestly, that didn’t even occur to me when I first saw the image.

I think I can be bad at standing up for what I deserve sometimes. Even with little things. I’m getting better, but it shouldn’t have taken me until 41 years old!* I have to advocate for myself with clients (you need to pay me on time, and if you expand the scope of work, I’m going to expand my fee!)

And even teaching fitness. Microphones are notoriously unreliable, and it’s quite frustrating. One of my favorite formats to teach is step aerobics. You must cue nearly constantly (ideally, both verbally and visually), and it’s also best to have your back to the class. (I explained this years ago in my “Treatise on Mirroring” – which is facing your class.) Combined, these factors make a lack of mic for step particularly problematic. I’ve been quite vocal about needing to get it fixed – more so than I would have been in the past.

*And see?! There I go being hard on myself! Ugh!

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